Gracious Grandmothers

For the past few days, we have been hearing about Ty's new dolls that are called Marvelous Malia and Sweet Sasha. We understand that First Lady Michelle Obama is not too happy about these dolls capitalizing on her daughters' current popularity with the public. We have also been hearing, and seeing, that Mrs. Obama's mother will be living in the White House and helping to care and shape the girls' development. If we are going to have Malia and Sasha dolls, might I also suggest a new one called Gracious Grandmother. This suggestion is based upon my belief that grandparents can provide a wonderful influence upon the lives of young, growing children.

Currently, I am reading Wendell Berry's novel Hannah Coulter, which is the story of an older grandmother who is looking back at her life in the small town of Port William, Kentucky, and remembering the formative influences of her own grandmother, whom she called Grandmam. In an early passage, the narrator states, "And Grandmam, as I have seen in looking back, was the decider of my fate. She shaped my life, without of course knowing what my life would be. She taught me many things that I was going to need to know, without either of us knowing I would need to know them." I myself often am grateful for my grandmother who took my sister and me (ages 16 and 12) into her home when she was in her mid-sixties. I stayed with her through junior high school and high school. She, I believe, was happy to do it because of her own generous heart. I think she also realized that the two of us needed stability in our rather chaotic lives up to that point.

I haven't been around grandfathers very much since mine--maternal and paternal--died before I was born. I am certain, however, that there are also generous grandfathers who guide their grandchildren carefully toward adult responsibility. Sometimes I long for the days when the extended family all lived together--grandparents helping grandchildren, children helping aging parents, and so on. I regret that, due to job mobility, many miles often separate us. Our grandchildren change and grow into adulthood far too fast.