No. 17 and the Server

On Mother's Day, our eight-year-old granddaughter began a discussion at Red Lobster about the nature of waiting tables. She said, "Mom B, we're asking for a lot of extra things today. Do you think the server gets mad at us?" Her question reminded me of being at an IHOP three mornings before. Garlan had finished an overnight sleep study at the nearby medical center, and I had picked him up at 6:30. We decided to eat what we thought would be a quick breakfast and head home.

Since we are retired and have a very leisure schedule to keep, we did not mind it when our server (a tall anorexic-looking young woman) dawdled before she sat us at a nearby booth and then proceeded to make us a new pot of Decaf. We did notice, however, a disgruntled middle-aged man sitting in a booth a few yards away from us. As time went on, he continued to be ignored by the waitstaff until finally his patience gave way to a loud shout, "What does a person have to do to get a cup of coffee around here?" One of the other servers responded immediately to the other wait staff announcing, "No. 17 is yelling." A few minutes after receiving his coffee, No. 17 began screaming for cream. I thought it easier to get up and take him my remaining two packages of creamer rather than wait again for service. He thanked me profusely and later got up to get some silverware at another table which was wrapped in a napkin.

I think of the situation now because many of us have been on both ends of the spectrum: we have been servers who were new and confused by the requirements of a noisy clientele, and we have been customers who were annoyed by slow, almost impossible service. It seems to me, however, that as a society we can be governed by civility. Is it necessary to demand and shout, or can we quietly and simply put forth our requests?

I believe the latter is preferable. We can choose not to return to the establishment; we can write a letter to the management even if we choose. I am not sure yelling, however, ever accomplishes the purpose we intend. The answer I gave Caitlyn to her question on Sunday is to behave in a polite way, making your needs known, and saying "please" and "thank you." As we still say in the South, we catch more flies with honey than any other way. I only hope No. 17 and the server were able to go on with their day on a more positive note after the encounter.