City and Country Grandmothers

Our daughter-in-law, Carrie, had a birthday this week. A week before the event our eight year old granddaughter, Caitlyn, called me to tell me there was going to be a surprise party for her mother and that she would be planning all the details. She then listed off the items I was to bring: a snack, some nuts, a present, and a game like "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" to play. I did go ahead and bring everything she listed though I decided a thirty-eight year old might not enjoy the donkey game as much as an eight year old. I decided instead to bring a quotations game from Carrie's favorite movie Gone With the Wind. I even brought some lip gloss in four tiny containers that spelled LOVE as a prize for the winner, knowing Carrie would surely win it.
Checking signals with the other grandmother, Cappy, I discovered that Caitlyn had given her a different list of items to bring to the party: guacamole and chocolate chip cookies. On the afternoon of the party, Caitlyn told me by phone to come early so that I could help set the party up.

From someone who had just one birthday party in her life, my eleventh, because Mother had a new boyfriend who said he would pay to have a shared party with a friend who was born one day after me. It took place at the location that we used to call the Indian Mound. We had a picnic on a particular warm November day and then searched for arrowheads on the little hill that was somewhat of a small tourist attraction in Greenville, Mississippi, in the 1950's.

Carrie's birthday party was not the first time I have seen evidence in my granddaughter of many skills that I do not personally possess. In late summer, we had a family dinner with my sister Judy and her husband, Bobby, from Texas plus Caitlyn, her little brother Charlie, and her parents. When she arrived at the house, she immediately asked about the flower arrangement for the dining table. I told her I had none. She swiftly looked out the back door of the house, saw the still blooming rose bushes in the yard, asked for a vase, and soon put fresh flowers on the table. While she was in kindergarten, she won second prize in a regional art contest by painting a picture of a cow. Her other grandmother is an artist.

I have sometimes found myself wondering, with all of Caityn's talent for putting together a Martha Stewart party and house, how I can compete with the city grandmother's skills that Cailtyn has inherited. What will my legacy to Caitlyn be? After all, I am the country grandmother. Garlan and I have always had to watch our money very carefully. Our idea of a dream vacation in the 1970's was to put the children into our old car, attach our foldout camper, and go to Nashville for a week. We spent $140 for that trip. Through the years we have loved to participate in as many free activities as possible such as feeding the ducks on a lovely spring day at the park and checking out some books at the library, taking a short trip to see nineteenth century history in log cabins at the no-admission fee Harbor Village in Grove, Oklahoma, or hiking up the Yellow Rock trail in Devil's Den State Park and buying banana Popsicles when we returned.

The answer to my question is that Caityn will be a composite of both of us, Cappy and me. I can often see my own resemblance to the grandmother that raised me from age twelve through high school. We called her Mam. She never visited anyone without taking a gift from her kitchen; the most well-received was her famous Apricot Nectar Cake. She was faithful in visiting the shut-ins of the church and always took them a Home Life magazine to read for the month. I always accompanied her on these trips, and I hope I can continue the tradition with Caitlyn. The country grandmother gave her for Christmas a pink city apron from Williams Sonoma that has a crown on it and the word Princess. She will be a blend of both of us I am convinced and will always be our little shared princess.