I was interested this morning in seeing regular viewers at the end of the morning ABC television show holding up signs with various and sundry messages. The one that caught my eye more than some of the others said, "Gay Proud Loved." I have been thinking about this particular topic due to a recent long spirited debate about the issue with a good friend. Her view is conservative; mine is liberal.
My friend, raised in a Biblically conservative church, kept using words in our conversation like "agenda," "abnormality," "aberration," and "dangerous to America." My words were "rights that every other citizen has," "desire to be loved and accepted in society," and "other interpretations of these New Testament passages." No amount of carefully worded arguments, however, could sway either of us to the other's position. We agreed to disagree on the subject as the old cliche goes.
While I would like to consider myself knowledgeable on the subject, I still (like all of us) have many questions. I just know that all in our society have the same goals: we want a reasonable amount of happiness, love, and respect from our family and peers. We want to be proud of who we are and who God has created us to be. We do not want to be judged by those who have set themselves up as experts of perceived sins of whatever type. Isn't that a sin in itself?
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Dying for a Baby
I have found Sunday night particularly difficult to locate an interesting program on television to watch. Therefore, I ended up watching what I would normally consider a trash program, Snapped, on the Oxygen Channel last night. It concerned a stabbing that took place between two young women. One, Sarah Brody, was six days overdue in delivering her baby girl when another woman, supposedly with a similar name, contacted her ostensibly to return baby gifts delivered to her by mistake. In the process of meeting, the second woman pulled out a knife to stab Sarah. She had planned to evidently kill the mother, cut out the baby from the mother's stomach, and become a mother herself. In the scuffle, the woman was stabbed in the shoulder through an important artery and lost her life. She literally died for wanting a baby.
My question about this case centers more on the danger signs this young woman had exhibited for years around her family and friends. Evidently, since the age of 14, she had lied repeatedly about being pregnant. Every time no baby appeared, the woman--whose name was Katie--made up a story about having a miscarriage. When told of Katie's death, the family immediately asked about the status of her unborn child. Was there no one in Katie's life aware enough through the years to get mental counseling for her?
Again, my impression is that counseling might have come down to being able to afford it. We all know that, unless one is fairly well off, mental counseling is simply not available for the average person. At best, even with insurance, the payout is usually one-half of the cost. Without insurance, it can be prohibitive. Could mental health coverage also become a part of the presidential discussion during this election?
My question about this case centers more on the danger signs this young woman had exhibited for years around her family and friends. Evidently, since the age of 14, she had lied repeatedly about being pregnant. Every time no baby appeared, the woman--whose name was Katie--made up a story about having a miscarriage. When told of Katie's death, the family immediately asked about the status of her unborn child. Was there no one in Katie's life aware enough through the years to get mental counseling for her?
Again, my impression is that counseling might have come down to being able to afford it. We all know that, unless one is fairly well off, mental counseling is simply not available for the average person. At best, even with insurance, the payout is usually one-half of the cost. Without insurance, it can be prohibitive. Could mental health coverage also become a part of the presidential discussion during this election?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Falling Yet Again Through the Doughnut Hole
My husband was figuring our drug costs once again as I came in the door from a relaxing walk around our neighborhood. "What's the bad news?" I asked since he had already prepared me that once again we were falling through the doughnut hole for his final set of prescriptions for the calendar year. "$950," was his reply. If we had to pay completely out of pocket for his meds, we would pay $3800 per year. As it is, we have prescription drug coverage with Arkansas Blue Cross Blue Shield for him and pay $63.50 per month for it. In addition, we pay $300 every time he orders his three-month supply. Our total is now up to $1663 per year for routine meds, plus the extra $950 for the doughnut hole. In other words, we pay 69% of our drug costs, and the plan pays 31%. While we are glad to have some assistance on cost, the bill hits us hard right as Christmas is approaching. We ask ourselves frequently, "Would a universal health care plan, accompanied by higher taxes, of course, be good for America?" We believe it would be. We look forward to seeing how the presidential candidates can help the average American.
I think also of my friend who just visited us for a couple of nights. She was interviewing for either a research or teaching position here in Little Rock. Her Ph.D. is in plant sciences, yet she cannot afford to keep her health insurance since she has no job at the moment. Her last job search, especially difficult since her work depends on public and/or private funding for research, lasted three years. She has recently had several medical procedures for which she had to pay for completely out of her small savings. She is not a member of the under class; she has the highest educational degree possible plus years of postdoctoral work. Universal health insurance would be a Godsend for her--and many millions of others in our society.
Both of the above examples feature a family who carries health insurance and a single who cannot afford it. Is there no balm in Gilead?
I think also of my friend who just visited us for a couple of nights. She was interviewing for either a research or teaching position here in Little Rock. Her Ph.D. is in plant sciences, yet she cannot afford to keep her health insurance since she has no job at the moment. Her last job search, especially difficult since her work depends on public and/or private funding for research, lasted three years. She has recently had several medical procedures for which she had to pay for completely out of her small savings. She is not a member of the under class; she has the highest educational degree possible plus years of postdoctoral work. Universal health insurance would be a Godsend for her--and many millions of others in our society.
Both of the above examples feature a family who carries health insurance and a single who cannot afford it. Is there no balm in Gilead?
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The Raging River Between Us
As I was walking around the neighborhood on my usual morning walk, I heard an essay on NPR that reminded me of many marriages. The essayist was an Indian-American who spoke of his parents' arranged marriage some fifty years ago. Evidently, no people could have been more different--he was a civil engineer and she a creative dramatist. He had been working on bridges in a remote part of India for some months and had come into the city for marriage. The first night of the "honeymoon" the bride cried for hours but was comforted by her mother-in-law and assured that all would be fine in the future. It was. The husband and wife, though quite different in interests, began to build a life together. The bride joined her husband in his remote location. They were never apart until one extremely wet season when the husband could not return home for four days due to flooding water. They stood on each side of a bridge and shouted to one another with the raging river between them. It seems to me that this image is symbolic of most marriages. There always seems to be a raging river between us.
I am thinking of the state of marriages I guess because next week my husband and I will celebrate forty-three years together as husband and wife. We knew each other very well, unlike the Indian couple described above, since we had dated three years before we married. Even so, I think most husbands and wives will report that they never truly knew their spouses until they were married. The first years for us were the most difficult as we struggled to get college degrees, begin careers, have children, and become active in the community. Finances were difficult especially during the couple of years that I chose to be a full-time mother when the children were small. A raging river always seemed to be between us, creating a wall of tension within the household.
I am happy to report, however, that as the years went along the raging river ceased to be a torrent but became a gently flowing stream. Perhaps we just matured from the twenty-five year old and twenty-year-old mindsets with which we entered into marriage. Perhaps we learned to accept each other's differences more without trying to change one another. Perhaps we learned the real secret to a strong marriage--the more one gives to the other, the more we receive in return. Whatever the reason, we both look back through the years and can honestly say we are glad that we stayed with our commitment to each other.
I am thinking of the state of marriages I guess because next week my husband and I will celebrate forty-three years together as husband and wife. We knew each other very well, unlike the Indian couple described above, since we had dated three years before we married. Even so, I think most husbands and wives will report that they never truly knew their spouses until they were married. The first years for us were the most difficult as we struggled to get college degrees, begin careers, have children, and become active in the community. Finances were difficult especially during the couple of years that I chose to be a full-time mother when the children were small. A raging river always seemed to be between us, creating a wall of tension within the household.
I am happy to report, however, that as the years went along the raging river ceased to be a torrent but became a gently flowing stream. Perhaps we just matured from the twenty-five year old and twenty-year-old mindsets with which we entered into marriage. Perhaps we learned to accept each other's differences more without trying to change one another. Perhaps we learned the real secret to a strong marriage--the more one gives to the other, the more we receive in return. Whatever the reason, we both look back through the years and can honestly say we are glad that we stayed with our commitment to each other.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
A Tightly Wrapped Message
I have been concerned with several issues relating to Barrack Obama's presidential run for the White House lately. One, of course, is that he has now indicated he will not accept governmental money for his race, but will instead raise all the money he can privately through his immense network of donors. I simply find the amount of money the candidates have been spending already in the primary to be obscene, especially as we consider the needs of the country. The issue, however, that has bothered me the most in recent days is that of his preaching diversity and getting along but making sure that he is surrounded by no Muslims.
Two examples have gotten publicity. One concerns two Muslim women wearing headscarves who were not allowed to stand behind Obama during a speech. The other is that of Keith Ellison, a Muslim U. S. Representative from Minnesota, who was not allowed to participate in a campaign rally because it would cause controversy. An aid to Obama told Ellison, "We have a tightly wrapped message."
I ask myself, "Is it possible to say one believes in diversity and then carefully control the message about diversity by censoring certain groups of people?" Yes, I know image is all-important. McCain has been criticized for surrounding himself with old people, and Hillary has been criticized for surrounding herself with women and blue collar workers. Do we really devalue the intelligence of the American voters so little by believing they will be adversely impacted by a couple of Muslims around the candidate? I would like to hope it is not so. Let's unwrap that message a bit.
Two examples have gotten publicity. One concerns two Muslim women wearing headscarves who were not allowed to stand behind Obama during a speech. The other is that of Keith Ellison, a Muslim U. S. Representative from Minnesota, who was not allowed to participate in a campaign rally because it would cause controversy. An aid to Obama told Ellison, "We have a tightly wrapped message."
I ask myself, "Is it possible to say one believes in diversity and then carefully control the message about diversity by censoring certain groups of people?" Yes, I know image is all-important. McCain has been criticized for surrounding himself with old people, and Hillary has been criticized for surrounding herself with women and blue collar workers. Do we really devalue the intelligence of the American voters so little by believing they will be adversely impacted by a couple of Muslims around the candidate? I would like to hope it is not so. Let's unwrap that message a bit.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Mamas on the Field
Our daughter told us last week over the telephone that our three-year-old grandson had begun his soccer lessons. I tried to imagine this sight--Cole with his official soccer outfit on as a rather big boy for his age (thirty-nine inches in height and thirty-seven pounds in weight). He also still wears diapers and has a pacifier. Evidently, according to his mom, he did quite well kicking the ball and having a lot of fun with his fellow players. He liked it so much he wore his uniform all day. According to the rules of the lessons, the mamas are allowed to stay on the field for the first ten lessons and then must leave the field for the remaining ones. It seemed to me that this rule was rather symbolic of the upcoming independence of the children.
If I equate one soccer lesson to one year of a child's life, I believe it is about ten years of age that children begin to break their previously close bonds with their parents. Up until then the child has no trouble sitting in a parent's lap or submitting to frequent hugs and kisses. After age ten, parents tend to become somewhat of a burden to the child's independence. He or she does not want to be seen with a parent and will resort, as our son Chris did about this age, to lying on the floorboard of the car so as not to be seen with us.
I am filled with nostalgia as I think of all the days, hours, and even years that went by so quickly during the first ten years of our children's lives. We, like most families today, were so busy with full-time jobs, church activities, or after-school programs that we did not savor the moments of childhood when mothers could still be on the field. Since we symbolically left the field at age ten, we have found ourselves now in the position of adviser and supporter. We long for the old days of being on the field with our little ones.
If I equate one soccer lesson to one year of a child's life, I believe it is about ten years of age that children begin to break their previously close bonds with their parents. Up until then the child has no trouble sitting in a parent's lap or submitting to frequent hugs and kisses. After age ten, parents tend to become somewhat of a burden to the child's independence. He or she does not want to be seen with a parent and will resort, as our son Chris did about this age, to lying on the floorboard of the car so as not to be seen with us.
I am filled with nostalgia as I think of all the days, hours, and even years that went by so quickly during the first ten years of our children's lives. We, like most families today, were so busy with full-time jobs, church activities, or after-school programs that we did not savor the moments of childhood when mothers could still be on the field. Since we symbolically left the field at age ten, we have found ourselves now in the position of adviser and supporter. We long for the old days of being on the field with our little ones.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Fixing Us
My friend Jo Anne and I went to see a documentary yesterday entitled Young at Heart. It is basically the story of a choral group made up of some very old folks. They give concerts both at home in the United States and abroad. What is different about this group is not only their age, but also the fact that they sing Rock songs like "Staying Alive," "Fix You," "Forever Young," "Schizophrenia," and "Yes We Can Can." This particular documentary was poignant due to the death of several of its key singers during and after the film was completed.
As I watched the film, I was especially moved when Fred, one of the singers, sang his rendition of Coldplay's "Fix You." The chorus, as many remember, basically says, "Lights will guide you home . . . And I will . . . fix you." Though the lyrics were likely written to suggest the support of an earthly love, I feel it also suggests a major characteristic of God. In eternity, I believe He looks at our brokenness while on this earth and His subsequent need to "fix" us. He is forever and always motivated by love.
The film reminds us that no matter how difficult our lives have been in the past, or may be in the future, one's art can transcend these earthly trials as we focus our eyes upon Him.
As I watched the film, I was especially moved when Fred, one of the singers, sang his rendition of Coldplay's "Fix You." The chorus, as many remember, basically says, "Lights will guide you home . . . And I will . . . fix you." Though the lyrics were likely written to suggest the support of an earthly love, I feel it also suggests a major characteristic of God. In eternity, I believe He looks at our brokenness while on this earth and His subsequent need to "fix" us. He is forever and always motivated by love.
The film reminds us that no matter how difficult our lives have been in the past, or may be in the future, one's art can transcend these earthly trials as we focus our eyes upon Him.
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