Gail Sheehy and Me

In regard to Gail Sheehy and me, we have traveled down the same paths for years. She, of course, is the well-known author of Passages published a number of years ago, and I--well, I am simply a follower of her ideas on developmental life stages. Some thirty years ago I was a graduate student at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville seeking an idea upon which to write my dissertation. My classes in higher education focused on developmental life stages as presented in Sheehy's research but also that of Daniel Levinson and Roger Gould, among others. I knew that Sheehy was just a few years older than I, so in some ways I felt as if we were sisters on this walk through the labyrinth of life. Now I know we are.

Last week I had an opportunity to hear Gail Sheehy speak as part of a program in Springdale, Arkansas, on aging. Her focus has now shifted from the early twenties and onward of one's life where the energy is spent getting an education, breaking away from one's parents, and establishing a career. Usually there is also a love interest followed by marriage and children. The years quickly march into the forties where one is now more thoughtful regarding the goals in life: Have I reached my career goal? Is there life after 40? How can I give back to society? Sheehy is now lecturing on the latter part of life, especially the task of caregiving to a spouse who's ill. Her own husband battled cancer for a number of years before his death recently.

While it might be depressing for some to reflect upon how quickly life goes, for Gail Sheehy and me, it is just a fact of life. We can even appreciate the joys of aging and its challenges ahead. Sheehy has at least made the life stages understandable and given us the knowledge that we are not alone.