The Cushion

The summer haze and humidity bore down on me like an anchor pulling me down into the earthy-smelling ground. I walked the usual path in Northwest Arkansas after a five inch rain the night before punctuated by numerous lightning strikes close to our house and continual torrents of rain. I glanced over on Old Depot St. to my left and saw a house built most likely in the early 1960's. The yard was cluttered with old cars and children's toys. One of the old vehicles had a crutch propped against its side. In the backyard I could see a rusting aluminum lawn chair that was popular in the 1950's sitting under a large oak tree and in front of a small swing set, also rusting, for children. I wondered if several generations of families were living there. In my mind, I could see a grandmother like me watching the youngsters play while their working class mother was likely in the kitchen making a meal for everyone.

It appears in some ways we have come full circle in our society, and due to the Great Recession of the past few years, many families are now living together again as an extended family. Personally, I know of several who are the "cushion" for their aging parents and young children. A friend in my book club on Wednesday provides care for her mother who lives downstairs, providing food and chauffeur services to doctors' appointments, while also caring for two active elementary-age sons. My best friend in Northwest Arkansas works full-time and cares for her aging mother, still living independently, but needing lots of assistance. The mother has never learned to drive and must be taken out for her groceries, errands, hair appointments, etc. At the same time, my friend provides after-school care and week-end care for her middle school grandson each day of the week. In our family, my brother-in-law provides caregiving for his and my husband's ninety-three year old father. Though he lives in an assisted-living facility in Wichita, he still needs to be driven to all his doctors' appointments and given care through his numerous health-care crises.

The "cushioners" need a lot of support as they care for aging parents. We are simply living longer and longer compared to generations past. I heard on NPR just last week that if one reaches age sixty-five in relatively good health, he or she is likely to live until 82. The surviving spouse in the relationship thereafter is likely to live until 90 or older. We simply ask that God bless us all, but God help us all in these hard times.