Softly and Tenderly

I have been thinking about conflict resolution this week after seeing an interview with Rosie O'Donnell on television recently. When asked by the interviewer to reflect upon her recent very public spats with Donald Trump and co-host on The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, she basically said she had learned that shouting never accomplishes anything since people don't listen. The best way to convey one's point, she said, was to speak softly and to use reason in an argument. For Rosie, that was quite a bit of self insight and growth I believe. I wish now that others could gain the same self-awareness.

Growing up with a mother who was a shouter, I can also testify that her style of communication was truly ineffective. I simply turned off and often retreated into a closet to hide for a few hours until peace in the house was restored. It is easy for one generation to lead another generation into the same forms of behavior. I have learned, unfortunately late in my life, that I could simply speak softly and tenderly in order to make my point. I am trying to convince my grandchildren, ages six and ten, that the cycle of shouting at one another can also be broken.

It almost seems this week that even the Republicans are beginning to also understand this lesson. After a lot of initial shouting about the nomination of Hispanic Sonia Sotomayor for the position of Supreme Court Justice, they are beginning to tone down their arguments and speak in reaonable voices. They have now discovered, after initially jumping to several wrong conclusions since they did not read her record, that she might indeed be a friend on the abortion issue since she is a Catholic.

Loud voices reflect immaturity; a soft answer can indeed turn away wrath.