Something to Live For

This week, as part of our Bible study, we discussed a famous chapter from Fyodor Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov. It's the one entitled "The Grand Inquisitor." The premise centers around one of the brothers, Ivan, who is planning to write a literary piece about heavenly powers coming to earth in the sixteenth century to debate religion. Dostoevsky for many has challenged us through the years to wrap our minds around many fascinating ideas. This piece is no exception. At one point of the story, the grand inquisitor (representing Satan) says to the Christ figure, "For the mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for." This statement has made me rethink my own ideas relating to retirement.

I have always been a person who set goals consistently for myself from the time I was young. I guess it comes from being raised in a family that realistically had little to look forward to from day to day. Yet somehow, from our being exposed to books at the public library and a mother who read voraciously, my sister and I began to believe we too could go beyond the possibility of just staying alive in order to find something beyond ourselves to live for. We have both devoted ourselves to do our best to sacrifice and serve. My sister is a great hostess and caregiver for those in need, especially the elderly. Her latest project is to work with the homeless through a new church program. I have chosen to work for years in non-profit Christian institutions, spending many hours speaking to students on life development goals, cooking breakfast for them, taking them on field trips, and counseling them on a one-on-one basis. Now that my sister and I are both retired, however, I at least have wondered if I should sit back and let others do the work of the world. Could I be happy simply existing?

My answer might have come a couple of weeks ago when I received an invitation from Joanna, our church deacon, to train as a facilitator for the DOCC program (Disciples of Christ in Community). It's an 18 hour program led by a bishop from New Orleans, William Barnwell. I have come to the conclusion, as our previous pastor for years, Cliff Palmer, used to say frequently, "One can never retire from the work of the Lord." I believe that, even in the retirement years, we can still be productive. All of us need to go beyond simply existing and find an area where we can go beyond ourselves and find new goals to live for.