Accomplished and Beautiful

The Today show this morning featured a story on First Lady Michelle Obama and her likely reception in Europe for the G20 conference. Most commentators agreed that the closest First Lady parallel to Michelle was Jacqueline Kennedy. No one, of course, would deny the beauty of Jacqueline, but few spoke of her accomplishments other than perhaps in the areas of fashion and decorating--traditionally accepted feminine areas of domain. Michelle's Harvard education and strong political opinions, as exhibited frequently during the almost ever-continuing campaign, have set her apart from Jacqueline, however. I was reminded of a recent conversation I had with my granddaughter, Caitlyn, who is ten years old.

It was last week, and we were going into Target to look for a sports jersey for her five-year-old brother, Charlie. Caitlyn had just left the mall after spending about three and one-half hours going from store to store and looking at many items that she wanted to buy. She had come away with some cologne from the Bath and Body Shop, a pair of lime green iridescent tennis shoes with contrasting hot pink tights to go with them, several pairs of earrings, and a small purse from Claire's. Caitlyn commented as we walked toward the front of Target, "When I marry, I am going to choose someone that I 'like' but someone who has money so that I can buy whatever I want." Her father immediately chimed in to say, "Why not be independent, have your own career, and then buy what you want for yourself?" I added, "That way you won't have to be dependent upon a man."

In spite of the fact that women have been in professional careers for a number of years, I am still concerned about the view young girls have about their future lives. It is true that in Caitlyn's own family her mother has not worked outside the home full-time for the past ten years. She has always remembered her mother as a homemaker and her father as the breadwinner. Her parents' divorce last fall, however, is likely going to change this scenario. Caitlyn is still working on the idea in her head that a woman, like Michelle Obama, can be both accomplished and beautiful. It's an important lesson.

The Story of "mamadee"

My book study on Wednesday morning has been reading Lauren Winner's short book entitled Mudhouse Sabbath. It is a non-fiction piece that relates the story of Lauren's conversion from the Jewish faith to that of a Protestant, an Episcopalian. In her chapter on hospitality, Lauren makes the point that God created a home for us, the earth, and therefore we have an obligation to open our homes to others. She says, "To invite people into our homes is to respond with gratitude to the God who made a home for us." My sister-in-law's mother, "mamadee," personified the trait of hospitality. She died earlier this month in Kansas.

In her obituary we were told, "Although she and her husband John had 3 children born to them, they were parents to many more. She loved people and people loved her. She and John hosted numerous foreign exchange people over the years from many different countries." In addition, she had several "chosen" daughters as well. Mamadee's life has reminded me of the famous quote from missionary Jim Elliot who said, "he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Or, in the words of my former Sunday School teacher, "no one has ever seen a hearse pulling a U-haul." Mamadee lived simply and gave away all she had to others.

I was the recepient of her hospitality three years ago in the fall. My husband and I had had a difficult summer including death of a close family member, placement of a father in a health facility, moves from two houses, financial concerns, etc. My sister-in-law Jan and I went by Mamadee's small apartment one day in early fall. I felt the stress in my life was great, and perhaps with a sense of that in both our lives, Mamadee greeted us with grace. She served us a "teashop" lunch of chicken salad sandwiches, tea, cream cheese and jalapeno dip, crackers, and dessert. Her table was decorated with autumn candles and pumpkins welcoming in the new season. I felt not only welcomed by her hospitality but that I had also become one of her new "chosen" daughters. It was the beginning of a personal renewal of life and hope for me.

Not everyone is blessed with the gift of hospitality as Mamadee was; after all, the Bible includes it in its list of spiritual gifts. Mamadee did not leave her heirs with many material belongings, but I believe she fully exemplified Jesus' command to "love your neighbor."

Perils in Our Octocountry

The prefix "octo" is currently being overused in our country to describe many areas of our lives. It does seem appropriate, however, to use it in relationship to the multiple problems of our economy. We are currently dealing with at least eight, if not more, including crises relating to banking, credit, housing, health care, global warming, education, consumer spending, and two wars. The Democrats have squared directly off against the Republicans. Each side believes in the correctness of its arguments.

As we have always known, the primary difference between the two parties centers on the issue of whether to have big government or small government. Democrats support the former and Republicans support the latter. I confess that I have not been consistent in my political viewpoints throughout the past few years and now call myself an independent. In other words, I can be persuaded rather easily to listen to a compelling argument from either side.

The most compelling argument I have heard recently came last night as I was listening to an interview with Daniel Hannan, a British Conservative Party representative. He seemed to be the most logical in analyzing America's latest decision to spend our way out of this gigantic recession in which we find ourselves. He simply stated that the majority of us, private individuals who find ourselves in great debt. would simply cut spending and made adjustments to lifestyles. Only politicians and bankers, he said, do the opposite: go into a mode of extravagant spending. I also found Andrew Cuomo's argument forceful: American consumers who have lost over one-half of their savings through the economic crisis are being asked to pay for the bad decisions of the bankers and insurance leaders and also pay them huge bonuses. It doesn't make sense; it simply is not logical.

In the meantime, this small retired family is taking a conservative approach to finances. We will continue to tighten our belts and save as much money as we possibly can. We will reduce spending wherever possible. That does make sense. We prefer one crisis at a time, not eight or more.

Being Seen But Not Seeing

I was reading in the Bible a few days ago when a particular passage got my attention. It basically spoke of God's being able to see us, to care for us, and to know our needs. It also spoke of our own inability to see Him clearly. I thought of this passage as I also remembered an incident back in the fall in our neighborhood. It has been my privilege since I retired three years ago to walk the paved paths each morning for a couple of miles or so. One of my neighbors, a man who appears to be in his early fifties, typically walks at the same time I do. Since we both live in the friendly South, I have always expected some type of greeting from him, yet I have never received one. He always wears dark sunglasses, listens to his IPod, and seems oblivious to the rest of the world. As for me, I have always smiled and nodded my head as we passed in opposite directions.

One day, however, I saw him coming toward me. I was walking on the left side, as we are instructed to do in order to see upcoming traffic, and he was coming toward me on the same side. We approached each other steadily until he became quite startled that I was so close to him. He said, "I didn't know anyone was there!" Since that time I have not seen him walk the paths. It occurred to me at the time that perhaps he was losing his sight, perhaps he had some type of macular degeneration and had decreased vision.

As I reflect upon the idea of being seen but not seeing, I am thankful that I believe in a higher power Who sees and cares for me at all times. When times of crises arrive, I know that I am not excused from hurt or pain anymore than anyone else is. I know though that He will walk with me through that time. I so much want to see Him more clearly, to love Him more dearly--as the praise song goes--but until that day and we come face to face I must walk in faith.

The Transformation

My daughter and I made a visit recently to one of our local health care clinics here in Little Rock with my grandson Cole. The sign in front of the clinic indicated that "walk ins" were acceptable. Even though we knew a wait would likely be necessary, we were determined that he was ill enough to see a pediatric specialist. After completing the required paperwork for insurance purposes, we waited forty-five minutes in the primary waiting area while the staff and physicians were on their lunch break. We went back to the pediatric waiting room exactly at 12:30 when we were told everyone would be back on duty. The nursing assistant conducted the usual pre-exam (taking Cole's temperature, measuring his height, and having him step on the scales for his weight). Cole asked, "Are you the doctor?" since all of his physicians in the past have been female. She laughed as if quite surprised by his question and replied, "No, you'll see the doctor soon."

The other "walk ins" sitting by us were a brother and sister evidently suffering from the lingering effects of the flu. When the young doctor arrived, wearing jeans and a casual shirt, he saw a full waiting area. He immediately began chastising his staff saying in a loud voice, "You must be kidding! Call the desk up front and tell them NOT to send any more patients back for me to see. I am overloaded already. I'll see these three but NO more." At that point he strolled back to a Coke machine and returned with a caffeine-laden Dr. Pepper. We continued to wait but talked with the other "walk ins" about the obvious lack of a bedside manner for sick people. My daughter and I dreaded going back into the examining room with Cole.

We sat for just a couple of minutes in the room, however, before we noticed "the transformation." The young doctor who had just been berating his staff (and seeing their eyes roll indicated to us it was likely not the first time) was polite, caring, and not rushed. It seemed evidence to us of a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde split personality change. He leaned against the cabinet after his examination of Cole and talked about what symptoms Cole could expect in the coming hours using a common vernacular like "puking." We left the office remarking upon the personality change.

My husband, who worked as a health care mid-level administrator for twenty-six years, was sympathetic to the doctor indicating that our health care system in general was in great danger. This situation is likely due to managed care rules which promote the booking of far too many patients for a doctor to see during a normal work day. Obviously, if this one doctor's behavior is any indication, the strain under which our doctors work is unhealthy for them--and for us who have no other alternative. Perhaps the coming revisions in the nation's health care system will bring about much needed changes.

A Sweet, Sweet Spirit

Our three-year-old grandson from Seattle, Cole, spent several days with us recently. The first night went well, and he enjoyed playing with his cousins Caitlyn and Charlie immensely. Unfortunately, the next morning he woke up with a stomach virus. Both his Mom and I hoped that it would pass quickly, but we planned a walk-in visit anyway to one of the local clinics here in Little Rock. We arrived just before lunch (his grandfather, Pop B, decided to wait in the car) and were told, of course, that the staff were all out to lunch for an hour. As we waited, Cole made a couple of trips to the bathroom to deal with his nausea. After we had been there for quite a while, Cole looked up at his Mom and said, "Pop B is out in the car, and he's so tired and hungry."

In years past, my husband and I were in churches that frequently featured a song about "a sweet sweet spirit [being] in this place." It seems that Cole in all his innocence has that instinctual spirit to think of others instead of himself. Psychologists tell us it should be otherwise at this age, that a child is usually quite self-centered until around the age of seven or so. Cole is bucking the trend. I saw his sweet spirit again as our visit neared an end, and I knew that the 2500 miles of distance between us would not be bridged again very soon in this economy. I felt a bit sorry for myself and wailed, "Cole, I am going to miss you so much when you leave." He didn't hesitate for a second before he looked at me with that earnest little face and replied, "I will call you every day."

I would like to hope that this sweet-spirited boy will continue to have a good heart for others as he grows older. Children do learn from example, and he is blessed to have two parents and two co-parents who love him very much.

Fourteen or Eighteen Children

I have been somewhat comforted in the past day or so by the news that the so-called octomom in California has now purchased a four bedroom house with three bathrooms for her and her fourteen children. I am also happy to hear that Nadja Suleman has taken up the offer for health care around the clock for the babies from a volunteer group called Angels in Waiting. It seems that Nadja Suleman's decision to give birth to her fourteen children has given rise to much controversy, instead of joy, from both liberal and conservative voices. The controversy seems to be for several reasons: the in vetro fertilization process, the lack of a job for Nadja, the fact that three of her children already are receiving disability checks each month, and the lack of a father to provide emotional support. Compare her situation though to that of the Duggar family in Springdale, Arkansas, who have eighteen children.

The Duggars have been the subject of interest and praise for all the opposite reasons. This family has a loving and supportive mother and father, the family is able financially to care for their eighteen children, and the children are a result of mom Michelle and dad Jim Bob's desire to have as many children as God would send. There have been many other large families like this in past generations.

It seems the basic problem for Nadja is that, with the two public relations hires in the past few weeks, she wants to make money for herself and the children by exploiting them repeatedly to the many curious folks in the world who are obsessed with her story. I think both conservative and liberal groups all want the same result now that the children are here and growing steadily each day in weight and maturity: they want them to be well taken care of for their childhood.

Since the story is one that will be with us for the years and months ahead, we watch with interest to see what will happen. We wish Nadja our best at this point and hope she will take Dr. Phil's (and others' advice) that she get some mental counseling.

A Rose By Any Other Name

In the past couple of weeks, National Public Radio has announced that the former notorious prison in Iraq, Abu Ghraib, has now been renovated and renamed, Baghdad Central Prison. As a former English professor, I recall that famous line from Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet in which Juliet states, "That which we call rose by any other name would smell as sweet." She was basically saying to Romeo that, even though his surname name was Montague, names don't really matter. I agree. If one's character has been damaged by an incident, then we can rename a person or a place, but it still will not change its basic essence and the memories connected to it.

Abu Ghraib is a place that will always live in infamy as a place where America lost its credibility in regard to human rights. The rules of the Geneva Convention were completely ignored in favor of torturing prisoners in inhumane and often unspeakable ways in order to gain information. Sanitizing its name and reopening the prison will hardly erase the negative memories of the facility. In my opinion, and considering the billions of dollars already invested in the costs of a six year war, the prison should have been razed.

We would like to hope, under a new administration, that human rights in America will re-emerge. Yes, we Americans want and need to be safe but at what cost to our own humanity? Baghdad Central Prison will always be tainted by its history of torture. A little bit of whitewash will hardly change that perception.

Buddha for Sale

Shortly after Christmas I was walking through one of our malls here in Little Rock when I passed a store window that gave me a bit of a start. In the front window was a quite massive statue of Buddha in his traditional pose--the meditating Buddha with his eyes closed and his legs crossed. His body was gold in color. What caught my eye most, however, was that the price beside him had been reduced from $250 to $175. I wondered if this willingness to sell Buddha at a reduced price might be reflective not only of the economic times in which we find ourselves but also of the reduced interest in God (or the gods in some cases) to provide help and sustenance for us. I hope the latter will never be true.

One of the novels I am currently reading is entitled The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga, which won the Man Booker Prize last year. Early on in the book, the narrator Balram, or Munna, speaks of the primary religions and numbers their gods. In the Muslim faith, he counts one, Christians three (not three in one as Christians would argue), and Hindus 36,000,000. If we add Buddha, the number becomes 36,000,005 that we could possibly pray to for help. And that's just four of the primary religions!

As a Christian, of course, I find great comfort in praying to the one God of our faith during times of crisis. As I reflect upon my life for the past sixty years of prayer, I can find so many evidences of small miracles that I believe God has brought about in my behalf. These relate to receiving unexpected money when our budget was impossible to meet, having perfect timing throughout the day in accomplishing multiple tasks, and even having God leave signs of my father's belief after his sudden death. I don't think it's time to put our God on hold or on sale. He still gives hope in spite of a world which is seemingly filled with chaos, great tragedy, and sadness.

The Gap Between God and Gays

On February 18, I was pleased to host the film premiere of our daughter's documentary entitled Testimony. The project represents the culmination of several years' work, and it features a number of gay men and women from San Francisco, Seattle, and Little Rock. They are from all religious denominations including Jews and Christians. They are African American, Anglo, and Hispanic. All conclude in their testimonies that it is possible to be both religious and gay. The primary impediment for their acceptance comes from their church doctrines which teach that being gay is a choice, not a reflection of genetics.

I often wonder how we can bridge this seeming gap between God and gays, or more implicitly between church doctrine and gays. I believe that a careful study of the context of both the Old Testament and the New Testament might shed light on the dilemma. If one looks into the original Greek translation of the Bible, he or she finds that references to homosexuals were always in the context of temple idolatry. These references were never made in the context of a committed relationship between two people. We also have to remember the point of view from which Christianity arose. The Bible tells the story of the history and religion of the Hebrews. In their culture, it was vital to increase their numbers through procreation. Today, however, such reasoning would not seem to apply.

Even from the teaching I have experienced in a very conservative Christian environment through the years, there is a strong emphasis on security of the believer; in other words, when one comes into the kingdom of God, he or she will never be lost again. If we believe that to be true in conservative churches, how hard is it to believe there should be no gap between God and gays. The gap comes from the application of church doctrine based upon its interpretation only of the Scripture. Jesus never spoke of the issue; He simply taught that we should all love God and love each other. Will we ever be able to apply His words to our world?