My husband was figuring our drug costs once again as I came in the door from a relaxing walk around our neighborhood. "What's the bad news?" I asked since he had already prepared me that once again we were falling through the doughnut hole for his final set of prescriptions for the calendar year. "$950," was his reply. If we had to pay completely out of pocket for his meds, we would pay $3800 per year. As it is, we have prescription drug coverage with Arkansas Blue Cross Blue Shield for him and pay $63.50 per month for it. In addition, we pay $300 every time he orders his three-month supply. Our total is now up to $1663 per year for routine meds, plus the extra $950 for the doughnut hole. In other words, we pay 69% of our drug costs, and the plan pays 31%. While we are glad to have some assistance on cost, the bill hits us hard right as Christmas is approaching. We ask ourselves frequently, "Would a universal health care plan, accompanied by higher taxes, of course, be good for America?" We believe it would be. We look forward to seeing how the presidential candidates can help the average American.
I think also of my friend who just visited us for a couple of nights. She was interviewing for either a research or teaching position here in Little Rock. Her Ph.D. is in plant sciences, yet she cannot afford to keep her health insurance since she has no job at the moment. Her last job search, especially difficult since her work depends on public and/or private funding for research, lasted three years. She has recently had several medical procedures for which she had to pay for completely out of her small savings. She is not a member of the under class; she has the highest educational degree possible plus years of postdoctoral work. Universal health insurance would be a Godsend for her--and many millions of others in our society.
Both of the above examples feature a family who carries health insurance and a single who cannot afford it. Is there no balm in Gilead?
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The Raging River Between Us
As I was walking around the neighborhood on my usual morning walk, I heard an essay on NPR that reminded me of many marriages. The essayist was an Indian-American who spoke of his parents' arranged marriage some fifty years ago. Evidently, no people could have been more different--he was a civil engineer and she a creative dramatist. He had been working on bridges in a remote part of India for some months and had come into the city for marriage. The first night of the "honeymoon" the bride cried for hours but was comforted by her mother-in-law and assured that all would be fine in the future. It was. The husband and wife, though quite different in interests, began to build a life together. The bride joined her husband in his remote location. They were never apart until one extremely wet season when the husband could not return home for four days due to flooding water. They stood on each side of a bridge and shouted to one another with the raging river between them. It seems to me that this image is symbolic of most marriages. There always seems to be a raging river between us.
I am thinking of the state of marriages I guess because next week my husband and I will celebrate forty-three years together as husband and wife. We knew each other very well, unlike the Indian couple described above, since we had dated three years before we married. Even so, I think most husbands and wives will report that they never truly knew their spouses until they were married. The first years for us were the most difficult as we struggled to get college degrees, begin careers, have children, and become active in the community. Finances were difficult especially during the couple of years that I chose to be a full-time mother when the children were small. A raging river always seemed to be between us, creating a wall of tension within the household.
I am happy to report, however, that as the years went along the raging river ceased to be a torrent but became a gently flowing stream. Perhaps we just matured from the twenty-five year old and twenty-year-old mindsets with which we entered into marriage. Perhaps we learned to accept each other's differences more without trying to change one another. Perhaps we learned the real secret to a strong marriage--the more one gives to the other, the more we receive in return. Whatever the reason, we both look back through the years and can honestly say we are glad that we stayed with our commitment to each other.
I am thinking of the state of marriages I guess because next week my husband and I will celebrate forty-three years together as husband and wife. We knew each other very well, unlike the Indian couple described above, since we had dated three years before we married. Even so, I think most husbands and wives will report that they never truly knew their spouses until they were married. The first years for us were the most difficult as we struggled to get college degrees, begin careers, have children, and become active in the community. Finances were difficult especially during the couple of years that I chose to be a full-time mother when the children were small. A raging river always seemed to be between us, creating a wall of tension within the household.
I am happy to report, however, that as the years went along the raging river ceased to be a torrent but became a gently flowing stream. Perhaps we just matured from the twenty-five year old and twenty-year-old mindsets with which we entered into marriage. Perhaps we learned to accept each other's differences more without trying to change one another. Perhaps we learned the real secret to a strong marriage--the more one gives to the other, the more we receive in return. Whatever the reason, we both look back through the years and can honestly say we are glad that we stayed with our commitment to each other.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
A Tightly Wrapped Message
I have been concerned with several issues relating to Barrack Obama's presidential run for the White House lately. One, of course, is that he has now indicated he will not accept governmental money for his race, but will instead raise all the money he can privately through his immense network of donors. I simply find the amount of money the candidates have been spending already in the primary to be obscene, especially as we consider the needs of the country. The issue, however, that has bothered me the most in recent days is that of his preaching diversity and getting along but making sure that he is surrounded by no Muslims.
Two examples have gotten publicity. One concerns two Muslim women wearing headscarves who were not allowed to stand behind Obama during a speech. The other is that of Keith Ellison, a Muslim U. S. Representative from Minnesota, who was not allowed to participate in a campaign rally because it would cause controversy. An aid to Obama told Ellison, "We have a tightly wrapped message."
I ask myself, "Is it possible to say one believes in diversity and then carefully control the message about diversity by censoring certain groups of people?" Yes, I know image is all-important. McCain has been criticized for surrounding himself with old people, and Hillary has been criticized for surrounding herself with women and blue collar workers. Do we really devalue the intelligence of the American voters so little by believing they will be adversely impacted by a couple of Muslims around the candidate? I would like to hope it is not so. Let's unwrap that message a bit.
Two examples have gotten publicity. One concerns two Muslim women wearing headscarves who were not allowed to stand behind Obama during a speech. The other is that of Keith Ellison, a Muslim U. S. Representative from Minnesota, who was not allowed to participate in a campaign rally because it would cause controversy. An aid to Obama told Ellison, "We have a tightly wrapped message."
I ask myself, "Is it possible to say one believes in diversity and then carefully control the message about diversity by censoring certain groups of people?" Yes, I know image is all-important. McCain has been criticized for surrounding himself with old people, and Hillary has been criticized for surrounding herself with women and blue collar workers. Do we really devalue the intelligence of the American voters so little by believing they will be adversely impacted by a couple of Muslims around the candidate? I would like to hope it is not so. Let's unwrap that message a bit.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Mamas on the Field
Our daughter told us last week over the telephone that our three-year-old grandson had begun his soccer lessons. I tried to imagine this sight--Cole with his official soccer outfit on as a rather big boy for his age (thirty-nine inches in height and thirty-seven pounds in weight). He also still wears diapers and has a pacifier. Evidently, according to his mom, he did quite well kicking the ball and having a lot of fun with his fellow players. He liked it so much he wore his uniform all day. According to the rules of the lessons, the mamas are allowed to stay on the field for the first ten lessons and then must leave the field for the remaining ones. It seemed to me that this rule was rather symbolic of the upcoming independence of the children.
If I equate one soccer lesson to one year of a child's life, I believe it is about ten years of age that children begin to break their previously close bonds with their parents. Up until then the child has no trouble sitting in a parent's lap or submitting to frequent hugs and kisses. After age ten, parents tend to become somewhat of a burden to the child's independence. He or she does not want to be seen with a parent and will resort, as our son Chris did about this age, to lying on the floorboard of the car so as not to be seen with us.
I am filled with nostalgia as I think of all the days, hours, and even years that went by so quickly during the first ten years of our children's lives. We, like most families today, were so busy with full-time jobs, church activities, or after-school programs that we did not savor the moments of childhood when mothers could still be on the field. Since we symbolically left the field at age ten, we have found ourselves now in the position of adviser and supporter. We long for the old days of being on the field with our little ones.
If I equate one soccer lesson to one year of a child's life, I believe it is about ten years of age that children begin to break their previously close bonds with their parents. Up until then the child has no trouble sitting in a parent's lap or submitting to frequent hugs and kisses. After age ten, parents tend to become somewhat of a burden to the child's independence. He or she does not want to be seen with a parent and will resort, as our son Chris did about this age, to lying on the floorboard of the car so as not to be seen with us.
I am filled with nostalgia as I think of all the days, hours, and even years that went by so quickly during the first ten years of our children's lives. We, like most families today, were so busy with full-time jobs, church activities, or after-school programs that we did not savor the moments of childhood when mothers could still be on the field. Since we symbolically left the field at age ten, we have found ourselves now in the position of adviser and supporter. We long for the old days of being on the field with our little ones.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Fixing Us
My friend Jo Anne and I went to see a documentary yesterday entitled Young at Heart. It is basically the story of a choral group made up of some very old folks. They give concerts both at home in the United States and abroad. What is different about this group is not only their age, but also the fact that they sing Rock songs like "Staying Alive," "Fix You," "Forever Young," "Schizophrenia," and "Yes We Can Can." This particular documentary was poignant due to the death of several of its key singers during and after the film was completed.
As I watched the film, I was especially moved when Fred, one of the singers, sang his rendition of Coldplay's "Fix You." The chorus, as many remember, basically says, "Lights will guide you home . . . And I will . . . fix you." Though the lyrics were likely written to suggest the support of an earthly love, I feel it also suggests a major characteristic of God. In eternity, I believe He looks at our brokenness while on this earth and His subsequent need to "fix" us. He is forever and always motivated by love.
The film reminds us that no matter how difficult our lives have been in the past, or may be in the future, one's art can transcend these earthly trials as we focus our eyes upon Him.
As I watched the film, I was especially moved when Fred, one of the singers, sang his rendition of Coldplay's "Fix You." The chorus, as many remember, basically says, "Lights will guide you home . . . And I will . . . fix you." Though the lyrics were likely written to suggest the support of an earthly love, I feel it also suggests a major characteristic of God. In eternity, I believe He looks at our brokenness while on this earth and His subsequent need to "fix" us. He is forever and always motivated by love.
The film reminds us that no matter how difficult our lives have been in the past, or may be in the future, one's art can transcend these earthly trials as we focus our eyes upon Him.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The Day We Are Born and the Day We Discover Why
Lieutenant General Russel Honore appeared on a talk show the other night and made a thought-provoking comment. Basically, he said that there are two very important days in each of our lives--the day we are born and the day we discover a reason for our existence. As a Christian, certainly I would add a third day--the day we come to know Jesus. Honore, as we remember, was the take-charge guy who went into New Orleans after hurricane Katrina, organized the people and the priorities, and essentially helped to shorten the chaos taking place within the city. It was at that time, he said, that he learned his purpose in life. Since then he has been traveling the country, giving motivational speeches, and urging citizens to prepare themselves in case of another national crisis. I have been thinking about my purpose since I saw his interview.
As we think about our legacies as we age, we tend to use the usual criteria to measure how well we have done in this life--producing children who grow up to be good citizens and caring individuals, producing a creative work that will live on after we are gone, asking ourselves if the work climate we were in during our careers was improved during the time we contributed to it, and again, as Christians, measuring our contribution to the lives of others.
Overall, I feel good about my life after a couple of years in retirement and reflection. I was privileged to give birth to a fine son and daughter who care about the lives of others and who are creative. Our daughter has just produced her first documentary, Testimony, and is currently at work on her second, Panhandler. Both of these pieces reflect real life issues from her life, i. e. the struggle she personally had to come out and her interest in the homeless (her grandfather was homeless all of his adult life). Though it is early, perhaps these films are the purpose for which she was born. Our son also is creative and caring. His strength from the beginning of his life has always been to be a friend to all, never picking and choosing who was worthy to be his friend but caring for all. He is a great writer and will likely nurture this aspect of his personality in future years.
As far as my creativity, I was privileged to produce two books three years ago that reflected not only my own spiritual journey through this life but also the journeys that my grandmother, mother, and daughter have undergone. While we sold a few hundred copies, it was not on Amazon's best seller list. Nevertheless, I feel it was my purpose in life to write my story to leave not only for my family after I am gone but for the people who read it and found it valuable. I have heard from many who told me it helped them in one way or another.
Our careers are likely the least satisfying of ways to measure our purpose but important anyway, especially if we chose a career that helps others, not the bottom line. I think of my niece Susie who has given her talent and time in recent years to help African-American boys succeed in school. She works in Ft. Worth at a place called Hope Farms. This summer she is making a trip to Zambia to help children there in an orphanage. I believe Susie is fulfilling her purpose.
For the final criterion, God only can determine whether we have achieved His purpose for our lives. We can hope only to look at those around us, listen sympathetically to their stories, and offer assurance that life does have purpose if we will look for it carefully.
As we think about our legacies as we age, we tend to use the usual criteria to measure how well we have done in this life--producing children who grow up to be good citizens and caring individuals, producing a creative work that will live on after we are gone, asking ourselves if the work climate we were in during our careers was improved during the time we contributed to it, and again, as Christians, measuring our contribution to the lives of others.
Overall, I feel good about my life after a couple of years in retirement and reflection. I was privileged to give birth to a fine son and daughter who care about the lives of others and who are creative. Our daughter has just produced her first documentary, Testimony, and is currently at work on her second, Panhandler. Both of these pieces reflect real life issues from her life, i. e. the struggle she personally had to come out and her interest in the homeless (her grandfather was homeless all of his adult life). Though it is early, perhaps these films are the purpose for which she was born. Our son also is creative and caring. His strength from the beginning of his life has always been to be a friend to all, never picking and choosing who was worthy to be his friend but caring for all. He is a great writer and will likely nurture this aspect of his personality in future years.
As far as my creativity, I was privileged to produce two books three years ago that reflected not only my own spiritual journey through this life but also the journeys that my grandmother, mother, and daughter have undergone. While we sold a few hundred copies, it was not on Amazon's best seller list. Nevertheless, I feel it was my purpose in life to write my story to leave not only for my family after I am gone but for the people who read it and found it valuable. I have heard from many who told me it helped them in one way or another.
Our careers are likely the least satisfying of ways to measure our purpose but important anyway, especially if we chose a career that helps others, not the bottom line. I think of my niece Susie who has given her talent and time in recent years to help African-American boys succeed in school. She works in Ft. Worth at a place called Hope Farms. This summer she is making a trip to Zambia to help children there in an orphanage. I believe Susie is fulfilling her purpose.
For the final criterion, God only can determine whether we have achieved His purpose for our lives. We can hope only to look at those around us, listen sympathetically to their stories, and offer assurance that life does have purpose if we will look for it carefully.
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